moment = F x A

everything we do in life has to have balance. it can range from a simple balanced diet to balancing between work and family. but i guess at this age, one of the hardest things to balance is time spent with your partner and your friends.

you want to spend sufficient time with your partner but yet you don't want to lose your friends and vice versa. so i have come up with a formula or theory as you may call it, on how to strike the perfect balance between your partner and your friends. warning: this might not work for everyone.

here goes the theory:

1 day = 24 hrs
you sleep = 12 hrs
time left to fuck around = 12 hrs
11 friends and 1 girlfriend = 12 homosexualsapiens
therefore for every 1 homosexual sapien, you can only spend 1 hour with.
thus spend 11 hours with your friends and 1 hour with your girlfriend.

so why will this theory work and why you should follow it? reason being it's better to lose 1 homosexualsapien than to lose 11. 11 hours of fucking around is better than just 1 hour innit?

free

this public service announcement goes out to all the cheapo-neneh people out there who cannot get their hands off freebies. starbucks will be giving out any tall sized drink for free on one of the days next week. i actually forgot the date. just be prepared to spare some of your time to visit the nearest starbucks outlet and take advantage of this bloody billion dollar company.

if you ask how would i know it's worth billions, it's because i told my ex-manager i wanted to make starbucks bankrupt by opening my own coffee company and challenging them. she said to me don't bother because they're worth billions.

i'd be putting on my apron on that day just to help out. but it's not confirmed yet because the boss hasn't given me the green light yet.

b for budget, b for bo chap

to all my friends out there, i love you guys. so here's why i'm sharing with you what i learnt today in school. try, as much as possible, not to fly with budget airlines. the key word here is BUDGET, and facts being:

1. their aircraft are second hand, with a mean of 20 years in their fleet
   
2. with tight schedules to meet, they most probably cut corners when it comes to safety just to make sure the aircraft departs on time cause they can't afford delays or they'd lose money
   
3. as the airline is strapped on cash, little is done to ensure effective and proper training for maintenance engineers

so it pays to spend a little bit more in ensuring a safe and pleasant journey. fly Mud ★ Airlines.

zonk out

zouk's in next friday. there's the flesh imp event going on. cheerios to uka for getting to know claudia who in return gave him the invites. it looks like networking is very important if you want to be in the scene and for free. come to think of it, i've never really paid to club. as much as i can remember it's all been free. with that, i am giving zouk out a miss because it is expensive and honestly i don't know why i'm not interested.

omg i need the sample report as soon as possible!

big daddy

girls want me, guys want to be me. =)

take flight

i had an awesome time last night at MOS all thanks to the company of my classmates. dancing like a bunch of crazy dudes at the retro room is definitely way more fun than getting to grind chics. if you wanna grind chics, you might as well go fuck a prostitute. you can stick your dick right into her whatever hole and not just rub against her ass.

tonight was a more innocent night with just a dinner at fish n co at changi airport with the retards. one of the girls working there caught my eye. each time she came over or walked past, i couldn't help but let out a cheeky smile or giggle. i shall go there again very soon! by the way my friend mr cheong is a MORON because although his watch is set to half an hour faster, he was 45 minutes late just now. that make's him 1 hr and 15 min late according to his watch. motherfucker.

p.s. mushroom says she likes my hair and that im hot. =p

nama saya afzal

seriously, i need to have a crash course on how to speak proper malay. xt and nisa, no word about it please. don't embarrass me.

find me in da club

there's so much hype about this thursday's tertiary fling at MOS. i really really really wanna go! so if all goes well, see you there! let' get crunk! WOKAYYY YEAHHH!

pinnochio

girlfriends should buy for their boyfriends a lie detector machine for christmas because i think boys are huge liars when it comes to relationships. we often lie so as not to hurt the girl or worse piss her off.

g: do i look ok in this?
b: yeahh you look nice (actually you look like shit and i am embarrassed to be your boyfriend)

g: can you send me home later?
b: sorry i can't cause ez link not enough cash (actually just being lazy)

g: what are you doing?
b: studying. i have a test tmw. call you later. (the tv's turned on and no book is opened)

g: do you want to meet tmw?
b: i'm sick i can't go out (he's really sick, sick of meeting her)

the two most difficult questions girls can ever ask guys are:

g: am i fat?
b: noooo la (when you're compared to an elephant)

g: do you love me?
b: of course (along with 3 other girls)

WHAT?! WOKAY!!! YEAH!!!

bimbo and i

attention all, she and i are just FRIENDS please. i miss being a barista.

before i die

i think the people who play football at my neighbourhood's street soccer court have very weird and funny nicknames given to them. a few of them are as follows:

vishal: crouch (as tall and skinny as peter crouch)
khairul: setan (looks like satan)
hamritpal: hamid (cause he can speak malay)
balvinder: monkeypal (they say he looks like a monkey)
jamal: jiji (his brother azmie calls him that)
azmie: mac (i have no idea)
rakesh: emoshit (emo fan)
mazli: mas (sounds sweet and feminine)
aliff: belalang (looks like the boy from nujum pak belalang)
alip: budin(coz he looks like this guy called biden)
helmi: park ji sung (they have the same eyes!)
jamelvan: ja-neneh (we love tits)
subash: zinadey (zidane wannabe. wake up dey!)
kanna: kannavaro (our defender)
myself: golof

norms

i can't fucking stand it when someone uses my thing without my permission when in the first place, that someone encouraged me not to buy it. furthermore, it isn't cheap. *%!@#&!

it'd be great if i could move out. i can do whatever i want and most importantly nobody can force me to PRAY.

sold out concert

to relieve stress before our test just now, my classmate and i started singing 'my heart' which is the soundtrack for the movie Heart. we were singing, leaning precariously towards screaming, during most parts of the song except the parts where we didn't know the lyrics at the top of our lungs with so much emotion and passion that we could receive a standing ovation if were we performing at the esplanade.

if you look carefully, new age emo/punk bands are actually new age boybands. reason being they wear the same coloured clothes while peforming(most of the time black) and are particular about their looks(indie-like hairstyles with dyed fringes or streaks of hair). whatever happened to that old school punk mentality where they didn't give a damn about their looks (unkempt and messy) or what they wore(just jeans and worn out t-shirts)? bands like millencolin, nofx and bad religion must be disappointed.

i like you. do you like me?

my mum's friend's families came over to my house today. then i overheard them talking about women having affairs with married men who already have children. intelligent mum of mine then said 'you can never get what was never yours'. very true indeed. however it seems like i have never heard married women or mothers falling for a young bachelor. does this mean that only men cheat?

thus the fear of cheating leads to insecurities which trigger the possessive nature of one's partner. everyone has different tolerance towards being conformed by their partners. some are able to take the over-possessive nature whereas others see a slight hint of possessiveness as something that suffocates their life. being the humans that we are, we want our partners to be possessive (a sign of security, care and concern i presume) when they don't seem like it, and want to be free when they start being possessive. true innit? we can never be happy.

if we increase the GST to help the poor, doesn't that mean that the poor can't afford more things?

hello

this is a shout out to gerard marc cheong yu liang who is pretty much bored all the time and visits every blog including mine. i didn't know that actually.

so in case you don't know, how in the world can you not know, cheong is my friend who always speaks to me in hokkien/chinese. in fact, he looks very much like a malay. this is what you call a model one people, one nation, one singaorean.

MXPX - GSF

You didn't have to be so mean to me
I guess now I see how it's gonna be
I'm joining GSF, I've made up my mind
Forget this thing called love, it's a waste of time
Girls ain't no good anymore, anyway!
Not for one second have I understood
Why they do what they do, why they say what they say
Always happens to my friends, it always happens to me
It's taken me 19 years to finally see
She said "Can we just be friends?
It's just not working out."
Another broken heart that I can do without
Girls ain't no good anymore, anyway!
Not for one second have I understood
Why they do what they do, why they say what they say

http://www.elyrics4u.com/g/gsf_mxpx.htm

wow

seriously, ite simei is where all the chics are at (sorry khalies i think i've fallen out of the crazy-over-a-tkgian phase). i'm not kidding. i visited my friend's just now for his open house and it was absolutely eye pleasing. his sister invited all of her friends from ite simei and they all gave a preview of what to expect if you were to be schooling there. there's jamie, yati, syafiqah and alot more. i like. =p

sp sucks totally. damn fucking stupid system with even more fucked up kids.

if only i knew all the people who frequent this blog. thanks.

a dollar a pint

i realise that i have a very cool cousin-in-law. we could relate very well. one good example would be we both believe that weddings are the place to look out for chics. ;)

sydney harada is fucking cute!

men are mats, women are minahs

whoever said they can live without the opposite sex. the truth is, men need women, and women need men.

why men need women:
they need someone to clean the house, wash the clothes, take the remote control, go to the market, make the bed, wash the car, clean the fishtank, clear the thrash, work and bring home income, scrub the toilet, beat the shit out of, cook four meals a day, polish their shoes, service the aircon, be a clown when it gets boring, turn on the telly and last but not least, produce little monsters.

why women need men:
they need someone to buy them shoes, clothes, bras, bags, g-strings, ice-cream, flowers, satisfy their horny desires, cheat on, slap, come whining to when they ting-tong, accompany them to the toilet late at night, treat them to movies, show off to their girlfriends, be their chaffeur, lose their virginity, run a country and finally, someone to blame when all goes wrong.

all in all, the dicks need the cunts and the breasts need the chests.

oh lovely

how i wish i can go back to 2nd year again and rethink the decisions that i've made then. come to think of it, i pretty much didn't have a life when i was 18.

now with an electric guitar in my house, my brothers are on their way to becoming the next rock superstars.

you're the one for me fatty

it's not difficult guessing how long a couple has been together for.

• holding hands tightly and smiling all the time: probably have only been together for a month
• holding hands loosely or hands frequently slipping and faces are expressionless: around a year
• not holding hands and either boyfriend or girlfriend is listening to mp3 or fiddling with handphone: few years (they're getting bloody bored with one another already)
• walking far apart and trying to pretend they don't know their partner: married with two kids
• one walking and the other sitting in a wheelchair: long service marriage award
• both sleeping eternally beside people they don't know: rest in peace

so in conclusion, the secret to a lasting relationship is to handcuff your wife/husband. that way you have him beside you all the time and you can have bondage fun too.